“I do” she said. My face went pale and my thoughts froze. How could she say that to me. After everything I had done. The work I had put in. Not to mention the time I had invested in her. How could she agree to a divorce. Was I that bad a husband (well I probably was, who the hell asks her wife if she wants a divorce). Her sharp words brought out the monster in me. I started shaking, sweating. I could taste my anger. I yelled in a language I didn’t know. In my fury,I slapped her. She hit her head on the kitchen divider.The kitchen was a bad place to argue so I realized. I looked at the knife drawer. I was going to kill her.Then I heard a soft sweet voice. It just said to “wake up love,you are having a bad dream again”.It was Amanda,my world,my wife.
This was the third time this week. The dreams were becoming more brutal and vivid. Was I a monster within?. I love my wife, I wouldn’t want to harm her.She is all I have. I was orphaned at the age of 5 and raised in a farm by a loving old couple. They too,are now late. Amanda is the very fabric of my existence , without her I’m nothing. I needed to get therapy before I unconsciously hurt the only thing I lived for.I didn’t sleep the rest of the night. I watched her sleep until the sky gave birth to the sun.
Momentarily she was right behind me ,hugged me and joined in the gazing. The silence was deafening but her warm hands were soothing. The moment was ruined by our systematic allegiance to the hand that fed us. We had to shower for work. Well she had to. I worked at home .And the rest of the day was pure confusion.
Maybe I had a double life. Dreams could be a whole different dimension where we exist as the visions we see. What if dreams are an alternative reality to the one we leave, a negative reality. I hated my self. I thought about committing suicide and the thought of Amanda’s broken soul wiped that stupid idea away. I was soo distant to a point where I almost dosed off then Lessy stormed in my office… panting like the bitch she was. She was a beautiful sassy Chihuahua. I sometimes mistake it for a teddy bear but Mandy loves her and doctors think I need a therapy dog. Things doctors and prophets say can be awkward. Anyways I will just end it all. I need to liberate Amanda.