Mind of a boyfriend

5 reasons why your relationship is boring

Boredom is the state of feeling disinterested in one’s surroundings, having nothing to do or feeling that life is dull by definition. This occurs in relationships and it is only natural but what is unnatural is feeding the boredom. Boredom is predictive of anger, loneliness , sadness, and worry according to Psychology today .It is such a motivating force that people do all kind of things to ease the pain.  And statistics say men are generally more bored than women. On that note, here are 5 reasons why your relationship is boring.

I. Doing the same thing over and over and over again

Reading that whole heading must have been boring. The brain does not cope well with monotony in any context. If the relationship becomes monotonous, it becomes predictable and that might kill the thrill. Spicing it up is the best way to save it, break out of routine every now and then, do new things together. Seek out ways of doing things differently to keep the vibe fresh.

Random thought : Cheating is probably a resultant of being bored among a array of reasons.

II. Lack of freedom

Boredom is closely linked to lack of freedom.Feeling trapped makes things boring. In a relationship that lacks autonomy, things do not go very well. Some partners are very controlling, at times it is subtle traits that do not feel like control that make the relationship dull. Simple things like dictating what your partner should wear, post or do. Maintain your individuality and find ways of compromising without invading the freedom of your partner.

Fun fact : Women are more controlling than men. Don’t believe this ? Do a research on the topic.

III. Attention issues

Attention is a trigger, where there is lack of it, there is no interest. Paying attention is what sustains a relationship, it is the cornerstone of everything in retrospect. A relationship without attention is like car without wheels, it will never go anywhere. Paying attention to the finest details changes a lot.

Hack : You know a relationship is hanging by a thread or has problems by the attention given. The levels of boredom and remedies determine the survival of the relationship.

IV. Stuck in the comfort zone

The love and attention is all there even the money but the relationship could use a Pastor Lukau. The reason for the boredom might be centered on the comfort zone, the pride or shame factor in a relationship. A person who is different around their friends and totally different around their partner is the reason why the relationship is boring. Stepping out of the comfort zone can brighten things, with the expression of the true self, the possibilities of staying fascinated are endless e.g finding mutual interests, being weirdos together.

Fact : There is no growth in the comfort zone which yields monotony which takes this back to point 1.

V. Stay in your lane

At times relationships get boring not because anything is lacking, it is envy and community engagement that ruin the fun. On envy, drooling over other people’s relationships instead of spicing yours will surely make yours boring. Then the biggest issue is treating a relationship like a group project. Relationships are a link between more than just friends, a lot is blocked out to accommodate a proper union between two minds, hearts, emotions and attitudes. Allowing a lot of third parties breaks that link and creates a loophole of dependency and mistrust. Losing trust in the ability to fix issues by yourselves. Then ultimately, mind numbing boredom.

Take Away: Too many hands spoil the pot. ( African proverb)


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