A person who has no life will make the relationship their life and that will drain your life. That’s just one scenario, an extreme one for that matter. So, you’re in love ? Your partner is your everything and so you compromise so much to make it make, or everything is actually just perfect. Now, the problem is you are spiraling out your own lane, and you are losing yourself. Remember, what makes you work as a couple are the differences you both possess. Stay yourself.
So how do you continue being yourself in a relationship ?
PERSONAL SPACE & TIME
While you want to spend most of your time with your boyfriend or girlfriend, who wouldn’t want that ? Well, that would be unhealthy for you to be together all the time. You need to breathe different air. Both of you need to have personal space and time every once in a while. Use this time to introspect, experiment on things you like , and grow as a person. Having some ‘you’ time is actually one way to keep the spark of the relationship alive. And duh, you need to miss each other. What do you talk about if you’re always together?
Keep your OWN hobbies
Creating new hobbies as a couple is essential, it builts you as a united front. Common grounds established a sense of belonging, and a bank of memories but don’t ditch your own hobbies. Doing those alone gives you freedom to be yourself. You may be partners but you’re still individuals and you have unique interests which help maintain your relationship dynamics. That’s more things to talk about if you think about it.
Sometimes NO is necessary
Loving your partner doesn’t mean always granting what he or she wants. Don’t forget that you have your own preferences, thoughts, and beliefs. Ergo, you have a right to refuse doing things you don’t like. If you’re not comfortable with what they’re doing, then talk about it. Again, there may be compromises to be made in a relationship, but it doesn’t mean you can’t speak up for yourself. Some Nos are necessary. They give you the freedom to be yourself.
Learn to Love yourself
Self love is a charm. If you love your partner more than yourself you’ll probably fall in the danger of becoming them. You’ll follow everything blindly and fall in a trap. But don’t confuse self love with an inflated ego.
Be True to yourself
Don’t roll over just because you are in a relationship. Voice your views, don’t follow the waves. If you’re not ready for some steps in your relationship, say so. Lying to yourself will only leave you hurt and accelerate losing who you are, truly.
Boundaries! Boundaries
Boundaries are essential in a any relationship, EVERY relationship rather. Making compromises is also necessary but there are certain boundaries that are needed. Make them bold. A simple boundary like , “Stay away from my phone Susan”, “ My friends are not your frinds Jack”. Privacy matters. Talk about these things, setting boundaries too late may lead to insecurities.
Go out with your friends
Your whole life does not revolve around your partner alone, so don’t forget to hang out with your friends. By friends, I mean genuine friends who will not drive you away from your partner. Take note, stay away from Toxic people. You need to meet new people. So long as you’re not doing anything wrong to ruin the relationship, then socialize with other people. If you’re an introvert , then at least talk to people you’re comfortable with. Also, allow your partner to do the same. You don’t own each other.
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