Dealing with differences in your relationship sounds simple. No two people are alike, not even soulmates. We all have different value systems, beliefs and preferences but that doesn’t mean we’re incompatible. It’s in dealing with these were perfection lies.
If you and your empress/emperor are having trouble resolving a difference in opinion, you might like to consider the following.
Walk a mile in their shoes
Perspective is everything. Try to see things from their point of view and see if that does not change the way you see something. Some values and systems are hard to adapt to or understand from your own personal spectrum, shift focus and use their lenses.
Talk. It’s close to getting things done. Listen to what each other has to say. And that means really listening – not just waiting for your turn to speak. When it comes to explaining your own position, speak calmly, openly and honestly. Don’t attack your partner’s ideas, simply stick to what it is that you think. Try as much as you can to understand each other before you speak your mind. The key is TALKING, Gossiping about your partner with your family, friends or colleagues will not change anything, they’re not psychic.
Find A common ground
Even if your ideas differ, it’s likely that you agree on certain key things – after all, it’s unlikely you’d have any interest in each other if you were completely opposed on every level. Don’t just focus on the differences at play: recognize that there are plenty of areas for which you have common ground too. Learn to compromise. Healthy relationships have a lot of that at play, if you cannot compromise for your partner and want things your way all the time, maybe consider being alone.
Don’t force things
It’s easy to fall in the trap of thinking ‘just because they do things you like means they like them too’. Imposing your beliefs on your partner can be unhealthy. Difference in opinions is rather necessary and interesting, embrace some of those differences. ( If Suzan hates clubbing, let her be)
Know your limits
It is important to figure out how different is too different. If you feel like the things that you and your partner are disagreeing on are fundamentally important to you – and that you aren’t likely to be able to find a compromise . It might be worth thinking about how this could affect things in future. If the differences are deal breakers, you know what to do.