• Mind of a boyfriend

    Pieces of me – I have trust issues

    Trust. The one consistent thing I’ve managed to lose over the years. Humans can not be trusted. Just so we’re clear, if you think you know someone , think again. You don’t. Trust sparingly, leave room for disappointment but love fully. And considering how fragile trust is, love with open eyes, blinding yourself will get you hurt. Before I get lost in this piece, what even is trust ? I’m bringing this up because I recently realized we make our own definitions for things now . And get away with it. — Trust is the belief or confidence that someone will act in a reliable, honest, and competent manner.— Keyword…

  • Mind of a boyfriend

    Pieces of Me – I overestimated my boundaries

    I talk about flying far away from assuming and I fell into the trap myself. I assumed my way into boundaries that weren’t meant for me. I realized I’d kill for people who would never pull a chair out for me. So much is masked in familiarity and history and we mistake all that for friendship. I believe I’m a friendly person and thinking I shared the same sentiments as some people was wrong. I know better now. There’s always a catch with some of these ‘friendships’ , don’t get me wrong , I have decent relationships with my people. But time and experience has shown me which people are…

  • Dating

    Dating in Zimbabwe – The Truth about it –

    Dating in Zimbabwe is a lot like dating in any other country. You meet someone, you get to know them, you like them, and then you decide if they’re worth the time and effort it takes to pursue a relationship. The only difference is that here in Zimbabwe, there are a few more challenges—like unemployment, poverty and political turmoil. “How’s this relevant Q?”, you may ask. It’s hard to focus on your love life if the ship is sinking. Dating as an unemployed person whose heart has been broken before is hard work (Adding that heartbreak part for ambiance) . It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack…

  • Mind of a boyfriend

    4 Signs that he has lost interest in you

    Ah, The One That Got Away. Or the one on his way out. You think you know everything about him—his favorite color, his favorite food, his favorite genre of movies—but it’s only when you realize he doesn’t love you anymore that you realize you never really knew. Communication dies Communication is an important component of any relationship. It’s even more important when times get tough.If your partner suddenly stops trying to communicate with you in conversation, that’s a real red flag. The lack of intimacy The lack of intimacy is one of the biggest signs of a failing relationship. So, if he isn’t making an effort to be close to…

  • Mind of a boyfriend

    How to tell someone you don’t want to date them

    Most people fall in the trap of getting into a relationship with someone they don’t like. It happens a lot because they can’t /don’t communicate how they truly feel. And if we’re being honest, men fall into a lot of relationships because they’re not used to saying ‘No’. At times you might not have a reason why you don’t want to date someone but that doesn’t mean you should. (But really? No reason at all ? Be honest. Come on)… In any case, you don’t want to. Disclaimer : I did lose contact with some people after doing what I’m about to tell you. But it’s fine, if you’re looking…

  • Mind of a boyfriend

    Signs you’ve been gaslighted

    I find myself explaining gaslighting every once in a while and I figured why not share my views. Relationships are complicated on their own, add power dynamics in the mix and things get a little messy. With people carrying a host of personalities, conditioning, up bringing and beliefs, some things may seem justifiable. Gaslighting is a subtle form of abuse that may stem from all the makings of a person, be it culture, religion, personality amongst other domains without being instantly noticeable. I don’t conform to most things that people subscribe to which makes me angry when they use certain domains to justify their sick behaviours. It is a form…

  • Mind of a boyfriend

    What potentials look for in dating/social media profiles

    Online dating. Haaa. I never thought I’d do it but here we are. It’s actually a pretty cool way to date now, considering how much time we spend on our phones while ignoring people around us. What potential dates look for in dating profile is basically close to how you shop for things online. We compare value and the actual cost of it, similar products and whatever Joe Goldberg searches for. I’ll talk about social media too, because that’s how most people actually meet now, outside dating sites. These are my thoughts : Profiles that try too hard are a hard pass, a hell no. People would rather hear about…

  • bored people on a birthday party
    Dating

    Why they don’t want a relationship with you

    I have heard quite a few people complaining about being friend-zoned, not being “wanted” or, put in a situationship when they want something more, a proper shot to being actually dated. Listen, I hear you, I won’t say it’s not your fault, let’s say it is and figure it out from there. What if you’re the reason they don’t want to date you? Are you doing these things ?: You talk about your exes a lot Positive or negative, talking about your past partners is a red flag, a well-marinated self-sabotage recipe. Doing this comes off as being stuck in the past, a reflection of unfinished business and unpreparedness for…

  • Mind of a boyfriend

    Going through your partners phone – thoughts

    I think going through each other’s phones can be a little toxic, why be with someone if you can’t trust them? That’s my stance before we go anywhere. But then again, I saw something interesting, “Go through their phone so you know of you’re not wasting your time”. In any case, these are my thoughts on the subject. Complete invasion of privacy at play there. Personally, the notes app in my phone holds almost everything, my thoughts, ideas, plans, and Unfinished pieces, someone going through that feels like being stripped naked and cast into a crowd. That aside, the messaging apps, well where most people look, sits all my confidential…

  • Mind of a boyfriend

    What women really want in a guy

    I think I’ve finally figured it out. ( That’s an overstatement, otherwise, I wouldn’t be single half the time ). Women like men are evolutionary beings so some wants emanate from base human needs. (Odd how the bare minimum now counts as wants in this era). Here’s what I believe women want. Stability It’s that simple. Stability comes with peace of mind and that means it’s much easier to rely on a stable person. The sad thing is we have a lot of male divas ruining things by being all over the place. Ladies want a stable guy, no one builds houses on rivers. Or on Fantasy leagues. Or whatever.…