So many people are caught in limbo for so long and lose touch with reality. Social media gives this pseudo-reality that comes with expectations that may be true in fantasies and Telemundo. This is a relationship version of what you buy online and what you get. Or what you order over the counter and what you get.
This piece is a collaboration between myself (His) and Nicole (Hers) , Humanity Boss, and this is what we have to say. ( Go check out her blog, you’ll thank me, and probably have to pay me).
His : Happiness is found in a relationship
If you can’t happiness on your own you definitely can’t conjure it in a relationship. Unless of course if in that relationship you’re showered with money and drugs because that’s where happiness usually comes from. In the real world, where we live, relationships are an extension of the happiness you have within. Something you decide to share with someone you deem worthy.
Hers :Dependancy is sexy but toxic
When you depend on someone, it shows that you value their presence in your life and what they do for you, the occasional and random gifts. Its not sexy though when you make it an everyday, every week, every month and every year thing. Let’s be real. You got parents. Let them be your 24/7 go to. If you are lacking something in your life it can be financial issues, mental problems or family issues. You need to ask yourself what can I do to make it better and you can also have a sit down with your boyfriend or future hubby and communicate with him and he can share solutions. Don’t call him when you are in a negative space all the time. He will flee.
His : Fights
If you never fight. Like at all. It’s either you have cracked the code to life or someone is lying. It’s healthy to have differences, afterall you’re both different. When fighting however, people tend to fight dirty which is what kills most relationships. Fight about the toilet seat being left up and stop there, don’t drag non related things there.
Hers : Glued to each other
People have their own lives to live. The world does not stop because someone is dating you or having a relationship with you. You need to understand that people are invested in their individual habits and you should not feel jealous or left out. Let them be. Their time is important.
Are they real? Will you find the one? Miss and Mr Perfect?. There’s nothing like that, you might meet someone you share the same energy with and get along quite effortlessly but the rest would need work. There’s no one who is perfectly suited for someone, you wouldn’t date yourself if you could. People are dynamic, they change, what’s perfect today may be mediocre tomorrow or non-existent in your life tomorrow. Remember your first boyfriend / girlfriend, weren’t they the one? Uhm. Where are they now.
Hers :Boyfriends don’t know everything
You need to communicate. Signs can be missed. Hurting inside, regrets, doubts and feeling unsatisfied makes you fantasize and cheat.
His :Love defeats all
Most people believe love is the antidote to everything. Culture, religion, education, family, friends, occupation, and everything else matters. Love is a foundation, build everything else with substantial material. Be it social, financial, spiritual or educational, relationships will hinge on those. You know the relevance of this when the love is on a low, all these other things start to show.