Most people fall in the trap of getting into a relationship with someone they don’t like. It happens a lot because they can’t /don’t communicate how they truly feel. And if we’re being honest, men fall into a lot of relationships because they’re not used to saying ‘No’. At times you might not have a reason why you don’t want to date someone but that doesn’t mean you should. (But really? No reason at all ? Be honest. Come on)… In any case, you don’t want to.
Disclaimer : I did lose contact with some people after doing what I’m about to tell you. But it’s fine, if you’re looking for friendship and they’re looking for a romantic relationship, you’re probably better off apart, the clash is even worse . That’s what a talking phase is for. Setting expectations, living up to them or crushing any chance of dating. Best rule of thumb : Go on a few dates, ask as many relevant questions before deciding to tie yourself to someone you don’t see yourself with. [ Questions to ask]
How to tell someone you don’t want to date them
First of all, don’t leap into assuming they want to date you. There’s need for certainty that they actually want to date you otherwise you’ll come off as a creepy, overly confident human with too much ego to waste. And don’t you dare use that ‘it’s not you’ line. (which I think is the greatest line in dating history, once it’s said everyone knows what’s about to happen)
- Just be honest. Say it as it is, ‘I don’t think I see us dating, because of XYZ’. While you’re at it, don’t invalidate how the other person feels. Just because you don’t want to be with them doesn’t mean they didn’t anticipate being with you. Be gentle. In your honesty, be gentle, otherwise you may come off as rude or pompous.
- ‘I’m not looking for a relationship with you’ is a starting point. That ‘with you’ is hard to say but necessary. Say you tell someone you don’t want and a relationship and 2 days in you find someone you want to be in a relationship with. Not only would you have lied, but shattered their esteem. When adding that ‘with you’, refer to the first point.
- Not wanting to, is reason enough.
- And for over thinkers’ sake, stop giving mixed signals.
This isn’t all out of imagination. Otherwise I’d probably be dating right now. ( They didn’t want to date me… But thanks for believing I’m the one who told people I didn’t want to date them in the intro).