Mind of a boyfriend

About “Mastering Long Distance Relationships”

Relationships are the stuff of legends. They are fascinating . The long awkward stares, the sweet nothings we say and the funny smiles. The connection that rips your soul out and gives it a gentle massage and a happy ending. There’s nothing more beautiful that sharing attention, respect , care , trust and chemistry. All these little elements bring a profound bond that locks the rest of the world out. The problems that arise from within can only be understood and solved by those involved and the feeling of going through a storm together is only matched by winning the lottery. Add distance to the mix, then everything changes.

Long distance relationship are a different ball game. The closest link between those beating heart is the technology that could ruin them. Not that it doesn’t ruin those close ones. But Long distance relationships leverage more on tech and trust. These still work regardless of all the forces against them. How then do you survive the long distance as a couple?

The How
Communicate Effectively

Effective communication is the cornerstone of long distance relationships. How you communicate with your partner is as essential as the frequency of the communication. With modern tech and social media, the means to communicate is easily available . This does not mean suffocating each other with texts and calls, give each other room. Inasmuch as your in a relationship, you still have normal lives. Do not forget, on the side of that device is a person who exists independently. ( But what about data ? Uhm, that’s a you problem Susan )

Be creative

Communication is king or queen or whatever, that is beyond reasonable doubt. The how aspect is what makes the difference. “Good morning” and “goodnight” messages are mandatory!

Long distance relationship doesn’t mean boring. Spice up your messages and call. Send videos, audios , memes, gif and whatever media appeals to you both. This kind of effort shows you’re doing your best to stay connected. Also play games together, the naughtier the better, that keeps the intimacy going.

Avoid unnecessary situations

Being miles apart is already a test of hearts, do not add more baggage. If you’re hanging out with people , that’s fine, but let your partner know. Just because they’re far away doesn’t mean, they won’t be offended by such suspicious actions.

Yes, your phone is YOURS but what you do with it shouldn’t affect your relationship. Long distance does not mean flirting with everyone in your contact list because your partner won’t find out. Respect them enough to resist such disloyal traits. What would you do if they did that to you ? Keep that in mind.

Do similar things

Doing similar things makes it feel like you’re closer. Share books, songs , tv shows and series. These shared things will give you stories and put you in the same track. You can actually watch the same show on Netflix and chat while watching. But if Netflix isn’t an option, traditional TV works just fine.

Stay true and Honest

Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, and whatever shakes you up the wrong way. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later drown you, both . Don’t try to be a superhero, share those feelings and thoughts. It will keep your relationship healthy, don’t anticipate putting fires when you let the spark grow.

Know each other’s schedules

This is important. Know when they’re busy or tied up. You don’t want to disturb your partner when they’re in a meeting or in class. ( If you’re reading this on lockdown, remember they have chores)

Keep track of each other’s social media activities

Like it or not, if your in a long distance relationship, social media is like going out together. Like each other’s photos , comment and tag each other. You know there is always that weirdly inappropriate comment that will come from other social media friends, beat them to it.

Stay positive

You need to constantly feed positive energy into the long distance relationship to keep it alive. The waiting can be painful and you can sometimes feel lonely but you need to remind yourself why you’re in it. Distance does not mean death, keep the flames alive.

Stay posted

Update each other on any and everything. Gossip. If you’re not gossiping as a couple, start now. We’re social beings, scandals and tea keeps you up to date.

Plan together

Make certain decisions together, for future events or for when you meet, even for the day to day things. Shared responsibility goes a long way.

Be Slow to judge

When we’re apart, a lot of scenarios play in our heads and they often make sense. Assumptions ruin trust. Trust on it’s own is another factor, trust each other to do the right thing. Don’t forget, trust is earned so don’t expect it to be handed to you through an emoji. When we’re apart from one another or have limited exposure to a person or event, we start to make all sorts of assumptions or judgments that are often either exaggerated or else completely wrong. Let Susan comment on your partner’s posts without being jealous, Jerry’s like is just that. Be slow to judge. Don’t be super possessive, that could ruin things.

The Distance should take a break at some point

Make plans and efforts to meet at some point. Contact is necessary. Psychological and well, common sense or whatever.


~ Boyfriend


Discussion : How to spice up Chats in a Long distance relationship ( Lockdown)

Comment section

Long distance relationships require unfathomable levels of commitment.

Sbhoe

5 Comments

  • Sbhoe

    Long distance relationships require unfathomable levels of commitment. Definitely would not recommend for the faint at heart. Part of surviving one is understanding how incredibly frustrating they can be and making peace with that. It will be hard, no matter how many articles or relationship journals you read. There will be moments when you wonder if it’s all worth it. Getting through those moments is how you’ll know that your relationship has what it takes to survive the distance.

    • Boy.friend

      That is true. They require extra effort and the amount of maintenance that comes with long distance relationships is just unprecedented, you are right, they are not for the faint at heart. The “Is this worth it” moments are the true test of will.

  • Thandie♡

    Long distance relationships can be very difficult. Some relationship survives on physical contact and unfortunately for those doing long distance it’s not that easy. These kind if relationdships require alot of patience and they can be sometimes emotionally draining. Trust is another factor that is needed in the relationship especially when your significant other is I another town.well when it comes to the issue of spicing up chats, this kinda difficult esspecially if you don’t have that unique bond with your partner. And if you not creative at all you might as well kiss that relationship goodbye. If your chat ain’t interesting bae is probably talking to somebody else period. Creativity plays a major role in spicing up the chats, you can’t be talking about the same thing with your significant other for all eternity jeez it gets boring. But efforts should come from both parties. There are alot of things that can help spice up things with your significant other, you can take turns to come up with games or discussion topics to help you communicate more with your significant other and remember to stay in your comfort zone. Don’t let pressure of long distance relationship make you do things that are out of your comfort zone period.
    Also don’t overwhelm him or her they might just get bored of you

  • Valeria

    Been waiting for this post. Thank you ?

    Long distance relationships need you to trust. Trust issues are a recipe for disaster. Assumptions and accusations weaken the relationship. It will never be the same. Have a goal in mind. How do you plan to be together in the future. You cannot simply put in effort without knowing where you are going with this. I believe that goal will keep you going.

    • Boy.friend

      Goals are necessary. You can’t be in a long distance relationship just to joke with emotions

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