Dating

Maybe you’re the problem

Have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe they’re right and you’re wrong ? Fights erupt, relationships fail, bad blood forms and the constant is you. Do you ever just think that maybe you’re the problem? Let’s run diagnosis , a little introspection to see if you need help :

You’re always right

Ladies ignore this. We know, by default innit. Jokes aside, if you never admit you’re wrong then chances are you’re the epicenter of the problem. It’s possible to be right most of the time but to a point that the whole world is wrong. I mean the church, the news, your friends and everyone can’t be wrong. Check yourself.

You’re always the victim

Like being always right, a certain level of narcissism manifests itself in playing the victim card every time. People who often gaslight or do wrong by people want to paint everyone else as a terrorist. They feed off the pity parties and attention from being broken. These people will focus on one mistake to justify all their pain. Guilt tripping is their super power. Are you them ?

Unrealistic Expectations

Expectations based on fantasies are very chaotic and impractical. Movies and social media and real life are distinct worlds and if the lines are blurred, then the very fabric of a relationship may be torn. Champagne lives can’t be lived on a Zimbabwean salary. That aside, relationship are not as advertised in series, movies and telenovelas, they need work and logic. When you’re wrong, say sorry, when you’re in doubt say so, when you’re hurt speak up, no Romeo will read your mind. And expecting superficial things like daily dates and take out daily is just madness, those things happen once in a while. Mostly when someone is wrong, when the relationship is new or something as blissful. Do you fantasize a bit too much ?

You don’t listen

The key to solving anything is listening. Basic human communication relies on listening. If you are always carrying mic maybe this whole dating thing isn’t for you. Get a pet. Preferably a cat, those things don’t listen too maybe they’ll teach you karma. You know you’re the problem when you expect the other person to bend over backwards for you and you just sit on your ears.

Always on the receiving end

Relationships are a partnership. A synchrony of chaos and order, yin and yang, give and take. There is a balance that needs to be there for relationships to work. If you’re alway taking, receiving and you never put anything on the table then there you have it. You’re a leech. Maybe you’re the problem.

You are Shady

Some choices you make and actions raise a lot of suspicion. You have passwords for everything, you are always deleting stuff and you hang around questionable characters. Yes, you may be trusted for a while but being shady erodes the trust eventually. Love is not always enough when there is no trust.


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