• Creative Content

    Ishuu !

    “Stop being a girl”, Malume barked at me, his aura reeked of disappointment. Showing emotions as a man was equivalent to castration in his reality. I needed to cry my pain out. The burden of supressing the fire burning my soul was harder than accepting my new reality. I was single again. Rejected by the one woman who understood the combination to my heart’s rhythmic beats. Frankly speaking, I should have handled my situation better after all she was pregnant. With someone’s child. My best friend, Jack. Malume was hell bent on unleashing his past life demons and beating Jack to a pulp. I don’t blame him, I would have…

  • Creative Content

    Umjolo, The Dating : Part 4

    Umjolo, The Buhlungus The air was as light as my head then. My anxiety was screaming as loud as Bosso fans, this was it. The plan was going my way. Nothing ever went my way which made me uneasy. Life had a thing of showing me none of my plans mattered. The true life of a Zimbabwean boyfriend. I mean if everything were up to me I would have been home enjoying my boyfriend allowance. Probably expecting my weekly data top up from Fia. But here I was, on my way to confront her. My only consolation was YV was with me the whole way. Never trust exs. That’s the…

  • Creative Content

    Umjolo, The Dating : Part 3

    Umjolo, The Pandemic ” Ezinkulu ! You’re here to take her home” One of the police officers at the station shrieked. The bearded hero nodded, he never said a word. Mysterious. Maybe he had no teeth. I was really hoping he had no teeth to even the competition. Ashuu ! This man was the “don’t worry about him” incarnation. He was everything I wanted to be. Rich, powerful enough to steal ladies and a beard. He must have had a very handsome pocket to be noticed by the police. Or he was famous. Maybe both. That take her home part stuck. I felt my heart shred into many pieces. Whose…

  • Creative Content

    Umjolo ,The dating: Part 2

    Dating in Bulawayo is a community project. Extreme sports. There I was hand in hand with my ex facing Sofia’s bestfriend. Her weapon of mass destruction, umakhalekhukhwini the phone,  tightly gripped in her left hand and on her right car keys. I could see her Twitter happy fingers twitching. My girlfriend, u ‘Dear Santa’ was going to be fed false information. Once a story is on Twitter, no one cares about the truth. The truth is boring anyways. Imagine if Vovo knew lunch was paid using my girlfriend’s money.  Tinashe, affectionately known as Honda Fit Driver stood there facing us. My relationship was over kanjalo nje. This  woman hated me…

  • Creative Content

    Umjolo, The Dating: Part 1

    *Phone beeped “Dear Mdali, please let it be an ecocash text !”, I lamented in anguish. Umjombo is a whole different type of buhlungus. Understand this ,being broke on it’s own is bearable-nyana but being a broke boyfriend is a whole 6 feet of the pits. Harare water I tell you bandla. That wasn’t the day. The gods of umjolo had finally answered my prayers. It was a message from Mukuru. A whole Mukuru message bazalwane. Free pass and free money, my day was made. Sofia had outdone herself this time. I was impressed. It’s not everyday you get boyfriend allowance. Her hair business was booming. And for some odd…

  • Dating,  Uncategorized

    Their Male bestfriend- Discussion

    The holy grail of topics, well after cheating and gossip topics of course. How do you keep your cool and security intact in a scenario where her bestfriend is a guy ? Jealousy and insecurity are very unattractive and cancerous but how on earth do you keep those in check when Bestie is there ? These people have been friends before you even came to the picture. Chances are the reason why she said yes was because of him, ever thought of that ? And that’s also scary, if he has that much influence, what else can he achieve. What if he’s madly in love with your girlfriend and he’s…

  • Uncategorized

    We are tired of Socks and Mugs

    Gifts are the ultimate physical sign of appreciation or to some the Lord being their Shepard is enough. I have heard a lot of our empresses complaining about what to get for men, my response has always been the same. Get him things he likes not things you assume all men like. But they like other women, and that is how most of the conversation end. So what do you get for men ? I will tell you what not to get then you will have to figure out what to get. YOU ARE A NOT A GIFT LADIES If your gift is your body or any part of you…

  • Dating

    About Dating Yourself – ReUP

    Relationships are a two player game. Nothing more , nothing less. Most relations begin at a high note and over time, the energy fades and eventually it becomes one player. If you start noticing the following signs, know that the love is one way; You text a whole scroll, the response comes in one sentence. People in love will always have a lot to talk about. However, if you realize that in most occasions that you communicate with your partner, the response you get is just a mere word, one emoji or no response at all, just start packing because you are not required in this relationship. You are dating yourself.…

  • Mind of a boyfriend

    You’re not dating your friends

    You are not dating your friends Yes I said it, you are not dating your friends, let that sink. Since time immemorial, there’s been an invisible war between partners and friends and for some odd reason the gospel says “thou shalt not choose thy bae before thy bros”. Is your bro going to cuddle you when it’s cold ?Is your hommie going to put his head on your chest when you fantasize nonsense and dream big ? Let’s be practical for a minute. ( Ladies, is Susan going to kiss you goodnight) Bros before uhmm The main scripture of the single men’s club. ( men’s club). Bros come before randos…

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