• Creative Content

    Umjolo ,The dating: Part 2

    Dating in Bulawayo is a community project. Extreme sports. There I was hand in hand with my ex facing Sofia’s bestfriend. Her weapon of mass destruction, umakhalekhukhwini the phone,  tightly gripped in her left hand and on her right car keys. I could see her Twitter happy fingers twitching. My girlfriend, u ‘Dear Santa’ was going to be fed false information. Once a story is on Twitter, no one cares about the truth. The truth is boring anyways. Imagine if Vovo knew lunch was paid using my girlfriend’s money.  Tinashe, affectionately known as Honda Fit Driver stood there facing us. My relationship was over kanjalo nje. This  woman hated me…

  • Creative Content

    Umjolo, The Dating: Part 1

    *Phone beeped “Dear Mdali, please let it be an ecocash text !”, I lamented in anguish. Umjombo is a whole different type of buhlungus. Understand this ,being broke on it’s own is bearable-nyana but being a broke boyfriend is a whole 6 feet of the pits. Harare water I tell you bandla. That wasn’t the day. The gods of umjolo had finally answered my prayers. It was a message from Mukuru. A whole Mukuru message bazalwane. Free pass and free money, my day was made. Sofia had outdone herself this time. I was impressed. It’s not everyday you get boyfriend allowance. Her hair business was booming. And for some odd…

  • Dating,  Uncategorized

    Their Male bestfriend- Discussion

    The holy grail of topics, well after cheating and gossip topics of course. How do you keep your cool and security intact in a scenario where her bestfriend is a guy ? Jealousy and insecurity are very unattractive and cancerous but how on earth do you keep those in check when Bestie is there ? These people have been friends before you even came to the picture. Chances are the reason why she said yes was because of him, ever thought of that ? And that’s also scary, if he has that much influence, what else can he achieve. What if he’s madly in love with your girlfriend and he’s…

  • Uncategorized

    We are tired of Socks and Mugs

    Gifts are the ultimate physical sign of appreciation or to some the Lord being their Shepard is enough. I have heard a lot of our empresses complaining about what to get for men, my response has always been the same. Get him things he likes not things you assume all men like. But they like other women, and that is how most of the conversation end. So what do you get for men ? I will tell you what not to get then you will have to figure out what to get. YOU ARE A NOT A GIFT LADIES If your gift is your body or any part of you…

  • Dating

    About Dating Yourself – ReUP

    Relationships are a two player game. Nothing more , nothing less. Most relations begin at a high note and over time, the energy fades and eventually it becomes one player. If you start noticing the following signs, know that the love is one way; You text a whole scroll, the response comes in one sentence. People in love will always have a lot to talk about. However, if you realize that in most occasions that you communicate with your partner, the response you get is just a mere word, one emoji or no response at all, just start packing because you are not required in this relationship. You are dating yourself.…

  • Mind of a boyfriend

    You’re not dating your friends

    You are not dating your friends Yes I said it, you are not dating your friends, let that sink. Since time immemorial, there’s been an invisible war between partners and friends and for some odd reason the gospel says “thou shalt not choose thy bae before thy bros”. Is your bro going to cuddle you when it’s cold ?Is your hommie going to put his head on your chest when you fantasize nonsense and dream big ? Let’s be practical for a minute. ( Ladies, is Susan going to kiss you goodnight) Bros before uhmm The main scripture of the single men’s club. ( men’s club). Bros come before randos…

  • Uncategorized

    What’s the Spice ?

    I’ve always battled with understanding what makes relationships tick the way they do. At some point I attributed everything to fate, soul mates they call it. How do they keep going after so many years ? What’s the secret behind these long term relationships? It’s easier to say it’s destiny but destiny has given most of us bruises and emotional knock outs. Karma has taken matters of the heart and made us victims of crimes we did and didn’t commit. Yet still, some people have mastered the art of staying in a relationship more than 4 years. What sorcery is that ?What’s the spice? Ingredients to great relationships exist, not…

  • Mind of a boyfriend

    Signs of an Abusive Partner

    GBV is still an issue in this day and age and it’s appalling that it’s still happening. I wrote this with a heavy heart and broken spirits. The statistics of victimized women out there, the brutalities against minors and partners still have the nerve to abuse their counter parts. It’s disgusting what some humans are capable of doing, like I said. This is written is pain, in hopes that predicting some abusive traits will save a soul. I. STALKING Stalking seems cute at first. It appears as it’s checking up on you. It progresses to a psychotic possessive toxic trait. If your partner someone wants you to account for everything…

  • Dating

    About Spotting “Toxic people “

    Toxic people are everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I cannot begin to count all the people I’ve had to escape. ( All 4 of them ). But do not mistake boring or annoying people for being toxic, some people are naturally undesirable. The odd thing is the most toxic people are the ones closest to you. The ones that have enough ammunition to crucify you. Them showing teeth doesn’t mean they’re always smiling, that could be them biting. Wouldn’t you want to know the traits of your Judases ? Crazy how relationships can get at times, Judas had his feet washed by his master at some point . How can you really tell if someone…

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