• Dating,  Mind of a boyfriend

    We need a Dating Resume!

    Hello Humans, You read that right, we need a CV to go with the talking phase and whatever comes after. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t have to be something typed out (but that would be cool), but the contents of it matters. Let me explain what I mean. We jump into relationships with emotions flying all over, following “vibes” but we miss the little essential questions that could make or break a relationship. So we need to approach how we get to know people like we’re making a Resume for them. We need to avoid popayism at all costs. Makes sense? When you’re accepting resumes/CV, there are requirements they…

  • Dating

    Maybe you’re the problem

    Have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe they’re right and you’re wrong ? Fights erupt, relationships fail, bad blood forms and the constant is you. Do you ever just think that maybe you’re the problem? Let’s run diagnosis , a little introspection to see if you need help : You’re always right Ladies ignore this. We know, by default innit. Jokes aside, if you never admit you’re wrong then chances are you’re the epicenter of the problem. It’s possible to be right most of the time but to a point that the whole world is wrong. I mean the church, the news, your friends and everyone can’t be wrong.…

  • Dating

    7 Things you should consider before getting into a relationship

    Before you get in a relationship, there are a few things you need to consider. Relationships are not candycrush, pushing a few shades here and hints there won’t make anything sweet. Approach a relationship like choosing a course, or something as serious. I’m not here to preach, but if the gospel of relationship works, by all means pay attention to these things : Have  a checklist Before you jump in a relationship, establish your checklist. Vibes don’t pay the bills and looks certainly don’t mean good character. Have a list of things you need in a person, that way you set a standard for yourself. People are like a buffet,…

  • Dating

    Disrespect in relationships

    Respect makes everything better but when people get comfortable they become monsters. Some levels of entitlement are the basis of disrespect in relationships. Sometimes,  it’s just too much comfort, or popayism from the other person. Or whatever. Failing to Communicate There’s nothing as infuriating as a bad communicator. It’s dangerous to work on assumptions or vibes alone, communication makes things clear. If you don’t want something say it, if you’re angry express it and if you’re tired of the relationship say it. Don’t resort to starting a new relationship without ending the one you’re in because you can’t communicate. Going through their phone Yes transparency is necessary,  so is privacy.…

  • Dating

    Finally, a topic about the Committee

    After the male bestfriend and the female bestfriend of course,  the most hated group on earth is the committee. These are the people who make decisions for you. The CCTVs of your every move and quite frankly these people can call out your BS. They could be good,  they could be your worst nightmare as the boyfriend/girlfriend but believe me, they’re not your friends. Your partner’s friends are not your friends. The committee has different personalities,  these are some common ones : The one who wishes to be you This is common but doesn’t mean there’s always that person in your committee. The person who low key wants your girl/man…

  • Creative Content

    Ishuu !

    “Stop being a girl”, Malume barked at me, his aura reeked of disappointment. Showing emotions as a man was equivalent to castration in his reality. I needed to cry my pain out. The burden of supressing the fire burning my soul was harder than accepting my new reality. I was single again. Rejected by the one woman who understood the combination to my heart’s rhythmic beats. Frankly speaking, I should have handled my situation better after all she was pregnant. With someone’s child. My best friend, Jack. Malume was hell bent on unleashing his past life demons and beating Jack to a pulp. I don’t blame him, I would have…

  • Creative Content

    Umjolo, The Dating : Part 4

    Umjolo, The Buhlungus The air was as light as my head then. My anxiety was screaming as loud as Bosso fans, this was it. The plan was going my way. Nothing ever went my way which made me uneasy. Life had a thing of showing me none of my plans mattered. The true life of a Zimbabwean boyfriend. I mean if everything were up to me I would have been home enjoying my boyfriend allowance. Probably expecting my weekly data top up from Fia. But here I was, on my way to confront her. My only consolation was YV was with me the whole way. Never trust exs. That’s the…

  • Creative Content

    Umjolo, The Dating : Part 3

    Umjolo, The Pandemic ” Ezinkulu ! You’re here to take her home” One of the police officers at the station shrieked. The bearded hero nodded, he never said a word. Mysterious. Maybe he had no teeth. I was really hoping he had no teeth to even the competition. Ashuu ! This man was the “don’t worry about him” incarnation. He was everything I wanted to be. Rich, powerful enough to steal ladies and a beard. He must have had a very handsome pocket to be noticed by the police. Or he was famous. Maybe both. That take her home part stuck. I felt my heart shred into many pieces. Whose…

  • Creative Content

    Umjolo ,The dating: Part 2

    Dating in Bulawayo is a community project. Extreme sports. There I was hand in hand with my ex facing Sofia’s bestfriend. Her weapon of mass destruction, umakhalekhukhwini the phone,  tightly gripped in her left hand and on her right car keys. I could see her Twitter happy fingers twitching. My girlfriend, u ‘Dear Santa’ was going to be fed false information. Once a story is on Twitter, no one cares about the truth. The truth is boring anyways. Imagine if Vovo knew lunch was paid using my girlfriend’s money.  Tinashe, affectionately known as Honda Fit Driver stood there facing us. My relationship was over kanjalo nje. This  woman hated me…

  • Mind of a boyfriend

    You’re not dating your friends

    You are not dating your friends Yes I said it, you are not dating your friends, let that sink. Since time immemorial, there’s been an invisible war between partners and friends and for some odd reason the gospel says “thou shalt not choose thy bae before thy bros”. Is your bro going to cuddle you when it’s cold ?Is your hommie going to put his head on your chest when you fantasize nonsense and dream big ? Let’s be practical for a minute. ( Ladies, is Susan going to kiss you goodnight) Bros before uhmm The main scripture of the single men’s club. ( men’s club). Bros come before randos…

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