I have heard quite a few people complaining about being friend-zoned, not being “wanted” or, put in a situationship when they want something more, a proper shot to being actually dated. Listen, I hear you, I won’t say it’s not your fault, let’s say it is and figure it out from there. What if you’re the reason they don’t want to date you? Are you doing these things ?: You talk about your exes a lot Positive or negative, talking about your past partners is a red flag, a well-marinated self-sabotage recipe. Doing this comes off as being stuck in the past, a reflection of unfinished business and unpreparedness for…
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Deal breakers in a relationship
I want to start by saying this, we have this topic every time and yet humans don’t learn. Deal breakers are those things that turn you off or potentially destroy the relationship if unchecked. The focus here will be on some subtle ones and the obvious ones. This is coming from a place of frustration and observations on how people genuinely lack EQ. These are my thoughts : Being their parent Feeling like you have this parent/caretaker role. Giving support, counsel, and all that is great and commendable but when it gets to levels where you have to do everything, things get toxic. Always having to explain things to them,…
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How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work
Long distance relationships are the stuff of legends. They are fascinating . They don’t have the long awkwardly electric stares, the sweet nothings we whisper and the shy smiles. The cuddles. All these little elements that foster a profound connection which are very physical. So how can we make long distance relationships work past a few months? Long distance relationship are a different ball game. The closest link between our beating hearts is technology and trust. Long distance relationships leverage more on tech and creativity. These still work regardless of all the forces against long distance couples. The downside is, people are different, so that means it all depends on their…
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Stop forcing things
Stop forcing things. Happiness is not tied to a person so why force things that could potentially ruin your peace. Relationships shouldn’t feel like a war zone every time. They shouldn’t make you blind to reality either. There’s no point in watering a dead plant. ( Well unless if you believe you’d fall in love with a zombie , if that’s the case ,Do you ). For your peace of mind and sanity, learn to put yourself first. Take your eyes and mind when you sink in love, you’ll have clear sight of what’s happening and logic to navigate. That is a long introduction ! We’ve been talking about this…
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Disrespect in relationships
Respect makes everything better but when people get comfortable they become monsters. Some levels of entitlement are the basis of disrespect in relationships. Sometimes, it’s just too much comfort, or popayism from the other person. Or whatever. Failing to Communicate There’s nothing as infuriating as a bad communicator. It’s dangerous to work on assumptions or vibes alone, communication makes things clear. If you don’t want something say it, if you’re angry express it and if you’re tired of the relationship say it. Don’t resort to starting a new relationship without ending the one you’re in because you can’t communicate. Going through their phone Yes transparency is necessary, so is privacy.…
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Their Male bestfriend- Discussion
The holy grail of topics, well after cheating and gossip topics of course. How do you keep your cool and security intact in a scenario where her bestfriend is a guy ? Jealousy and insecurity are very unattractive and cancerous but how on earth do you keep those in check when Bestie is there ? These people have been friends before you even came to the picture. Chances are the reason why she said yes was because of him, ever thought of that ? And that’s also scary, if he has that much influence, what else can he achieve. What if he’s madly in love with your girlfriend and he’s…
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About Dating Yourself – ReUP
Relationships are a like tango. You need a partner to dance with. Most relationships begin at a high note and over time, the energy fades and eventually it becomes a one player game. Solo dance. If you start noticing the following signs, chances are you’re dating yourself. You text a whole scroll, the response comes in one sentence. People in love will always have a lot to talk about. However, if you realize that in most occasions that you communicate with your partner, the response you get is just a mere word, one emoji or no response at all, just start packing because you are not required in this relationship. You…
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What’s the Spice ?
I’ve always battled with understanding what makes relationships tick the way they do. At some point I attributed everything to fate, soul mates they call it. How do they keep going after so many years ? What’s the secret behind these long term relationships? It’s easier to say it’s destiny but destiny has given most of us bruises and emotional knock outs. Karma has taken matters of the heart and made us victims of crimes we did and didn’t commit. Yet still, some people have mastered the art of staying in a relationship more than 4 years. What sorcery is that ?What’s the spice? Ingredients to great relationships exist, not…
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About Spotting “Toxic people “
Toxic people are everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I cannot begin to count all the people I’ve had to escape. ( All 4 of them ). But do not mistake boring or annoying people for being toxic, some people are naturally undesirable. The odd thing is the most toxic people are the ones closest to you. The ones that have enough ammunition to crucify you. Them showing teeth doesn’t mean they’re always smiling, that could be them biting. Wouldn’t you want to know the traits of your Judases ? Crazy how relationships can get at times, Judas had his feet washed by his master at some point . How can you really tell if someone…
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Take with warm Water
The bitterest pills to swallow are often the most easily available. They’re right there on the surface but blindness is the first impulse to them. It’s painful to acknowledge certain realities because that would make our lives unstable. That being the case, it’s easier to live in a fantasy than facing the real world but that ends now. That’s if you’re ready to accept it. If not, I hope some day, you will face people and situations for what they really are. Being trash is not gendered The narrative is “men are trash” and that goes without analysis right. The implication is that women don’t cheat ,they don’t lie and…
