It is not a rosy path that I am about to lead you on. This journey probably begins with you crawling to the corner of your room, curling yourself into a delicate ball of misery, and your shattered heart out. It doesn’t matter who broke up with who. The end result remains the same; a heart that had learned how to beat for two people needs to relearn how to sing a solo and the first song is always the saddest. Mourn, break apart, grieve. When you’re done, fed up with the storm and all its lightning and thunder, come with me and we’ll find that rainbow and the pot of gold it houses.
When the boy who takes your breath away leaves, you will not die. You will breathe, and do it freely. With time, you’ll start to grow back all the bits and pieces of yourself that you stripped off and discarded in order to make space for him, parts that you now realize never really fit into you. When all the love songs and romantic comedies have detoxed from your system, you will discover the painful truth; having a better half means you’re never whole. What do you become to yourself when you make someone else your everything? Now is the time to be your own everything. Wipe your own tears and feed your own heart. Teach everyone, including the next man that will come into your life, how to properly love you by loving yourself first. Tonight when you go to sleep, you will sleep on your bent arm and not his chest but believe me when I say the sun will still rise and the morning will be just as beautiful as it was yesterday.
I bet when you thought about the future, you arranged it around her, right? You were going to buy the car she wanted, the house in the suburb she liked, and get the wedding of her dreams. Now she’s gone and it seems like she took all her dreams with her. The good news is that this time around, you get to have some of your own, and better yet, you’ll actually have the time to pursue them. Loneliness breeds a lot of vices but procrastination is rarely ever one of them. The picture you paint of your future looks like a self-portrait but that doesn’t make it any less of a masterpiece. Remember all those friends you never saw anymore because you were so consumed with spending every waking moment with her? Now’s the time to call them and let them help you pick up the pieces and glue them back together. I will not lie to you and tell you things will look and feel the same but I can give you hope that it will get better than it was before. A romantic partner might be the sun of your universe, the epicenter of your life, but friends are like stars you get to hold in your hand. Collectively, they shine brighter and longer than the sun ever could.
Whether you’re new to the single life or an experienced veteran, you are a walking, breathing testament to the fact that the beauty of your life is not defined by a relationship. The greatest romance of all is getting to wake up in the morning and fall in love with the person in the mirror. The greatest tragedy is sacrificing that person for the love and approval of someone else. Until such a time as when you have found someone who feels worth the risk of crossing that bridge, you’re more than welcome to sit here on the riverbanks with us and watch the river flow.
Cc: Sbhoe
