Dating,  Uncategorized

Their Male bestfriend- Discussion

The holy grail of topics, well after cheating and gossip topics of course. How do you keep your cool and security intact in a scenario where her bestfriend is a guy ? Jealousy and insecurity are very unattractive and cancerous but how on earth do you keep those in check when Bestie is there ?

These people have been friends before you even came to the picture. Chances are the reason why she said yes was because of him, ever thought of that ? And that’s also scary, if he has that much influence, what else can he achieve. What if he’s madly in love with your girlfriend and he’s waiting for the opportunity to give her his shoulder when you mess up ? What if her parents like the bestie more than you? What if all that is your brain manifesting its darkest fears ? But what if you’re right? Let’s say you’re wrong. Because trust and communication is key for any relationship to work.

If this post is making you anxious and doubtful, it means you know what I’m talking about. So let’s talk about it, how do you really feel about their bestfriend? And how do you deal with it ?

The Discussion highlights are as follows :

So i think that best friends of the opposite sex are bad news cause one way or the other you might start falling for your best friend cause he or she is always there for you, offers a shoulder to cry on and basically knows everything about you

So its either when you have a bestie of the opposite sex y’all are chowing each other😂 or you aint dating cause you have defined your relationship as besties something like

Bold Girl

Moving on.

My brother always says there’s no such thing as a male ‘friend’.

Another bold girl

The discussion was heated at some point. The thoughts then became unanimous until some people pitched in.

Perhaps the “problem” becomes when what you’re looking for in a relationship aligns with what you’re looking for in a friendship and that’s how the lines get blurry

Very Bold Girl

But what happens to the bond bestfriends have, do you trust it ?

Boundaries are definitely important, or else you might as well be in a polygamous relationship…

So what are we saying
Have clear boundaries

Bestfriends should be just that. Keep the line visible and don’t send mixed feelings that might shake your relationship. If you’re the receiving end of the anxiety, observe boundaries that are there and help define them.

Communicate

At times assumptions become real in our minds and we create all positive scenarios that their “besties” are doing with them. Open communication helps ease that pressure, air your thoughts and insecurities. If there are justified, figure out the next step. Ignorance is not always blissful.

Foster a strong bond of trust

Trust is the thread that holds a relationship together. Once that is broken, it becomes different to believe anything. Trust your partner well enough to believe in their capability to maintain boundaries.

And uhmmm priorities

If they put bestfriends before you in a relationship, that’s a hard ball. Someone said partners come and go but bestfriends are forever. So if people subscribe to such values, it’s a bit annoying. You hold different positions in your partner’s life and you as the partner shouldn’t be an option. If you are treated as an option, re evaluate the things that unite you. Is there a future in your relationship or y’all just playing for social media.


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