Before you get in a relationship, there are a few things you need to consider. Relationships are not candycrush, pushing a few shades here and hints there won’t make anything sweet. Approach a relationship like choosing a course, or something as serious. I’m not here to preach, but if the gospel of relationship works, by all means pay attention to these things :
Have a checklist
Before you jump in a relationship, establish your checklist. Vibes don’t pay the bills and looks certainly don’t mean good character. Have a list of things you need in a person, that way you set a standard for yourself. People are like a buffet, don’t be the person who takes everything in there, you’ll suffer.
Evaluate what you bring to the table
If all you bring are looks and words , maybe get a pet. Or if it’s only money you can offer, get a pet. Relationships need a lot since it’s the union of two different people. However compatible you are, an extra mile of everything is needed to keep a relationship. Have something you bring to the relationship not “ncooh cute” when visions are discussed.
Prepare yourself mentally (spiritually if you’re religious)
Relationships like any human interactions come with mental strain. Be prepared for the times when things will be cold and tense. Always be ready to handle disappointments, anxiety here and there. People are unpredictable, relationships are usually amazing when they start, don’t be fooled by that initial stage. Prepare yourself.
Do it for the right reasons
Some people find themselves in relationships because some flirting session went too good. Don’t be controlled by lust, it’s not enough to be in a relationship. Don’t mistake someone’s niceness for a hint to be in a relationship. I’ve met the nicest monsters and you probably have. And by all means, don’t date because someone said you are old, cute together or they just like you.
Do your research
Am I encouraging you to be a stalker? Watch YOU. That’s not what I’m doing. What if you fall for a distant relative ? Or your ex’s cousin ? Wait what if the person who’s asking you out is trying to settle a score ? Point is, don’t rush into a relationship without knowing the basics. You’d be shocked that some people got pregnant without knowing any of their partner’s relatives. Or where they stay ?
Clear your closet
If you’re not over your ex. Heal. You cannot start a few relationship with old clothes, clean out your dirt. Give time to get over some issues. Don’t rush to rebound because that’s all your relationships will be, rebounds. Empty your cache, turn a new page.
Make peace with the ones that got away
There’s nothing as immature as treating people like options. When you decide to be in a relationship, respect the person you’ll choose enough to clear your deck. Keep one king or queen and lose the jokers. Declare them the one and win them. The moment you have options ,chill , your reasons for being in a relationship are wrong.
