Mind of a boyfriend

This is what they don’t tell you about relationships.

It’s been a long time coming and it’s here.

Humans, I finally got the opportunity to collaborate with the Humanity Boss herself, Nicole.

Selfies, matching socks, wallpapers or whatever! The stuff of dreams. The idea of a relationship has a lot of us imagining things and daydreaming till we start believing love songs. The truth is, relationships are beautiful. Who wouldn’t want to be pampered and given pet names or flaunted like the most precious gem on earth? But, relationships in all honesty aren’t sunshines all year, otherwise they’d be illegal or sanctioned or even turned into some form of edible. So here are the things they don’t tell you about relationships :

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Money matters. Don’t be fooled by the logic that romanticizes relationships to the point of ignoring the relevance of money. A relationship without money is different, not saying you should leave it but keep this in mind. Kisses and hugs don’t pay for weekend getaways and gifts. This goes for both genders by the way.

Relationships are not a two player game. There are a lot of forces at play. Yes, you will make the final decision most of the time but in relation to the outer forces. The family, friends, society, the environment will affect the path which a relationship takes. All these elements could make or break it. This becomes painfully true towards marriage, where everything is put under a microscope. That’s when all hell usually breaks through. Be in tune with your partner’s support systems and environment and adapt accordingly. This will save you future headaches.

Like in any interaction in life, there are high and lows. The lows in relationships may hurt. It may not be fights or anything as drastic but the relationship will have a luke warm phase. When nothing is exciting or boring, it’s just meeh. This is somewhat a comfortable stage if handled right. But because of the media projected onto us daily, this phase may be seen as “losing the spark”, and people panic and lose it. It’s only normal and natural,relax, you can’t always be hot or extreme cold, there’s that warm stage without anything happening. This is the equivalent of sweatpants and crocs, nothing special, just comfortable.

Nicole

Most times we crack our heads finding ways to be loyal to one guy, deleting contacts and bashing people with the ‘I’m in a relationship’ line.’ What happened to being loyal to God? I think the moment you are loyal to God, you won’t have a problem being satisfied with the the person you have because God chose him/her for you. Be consistent with God and the rest will fall into place.

In relationships the talk of values is usually saved for when the man wants to marry but its better to know first hand before you go any further. The moment you wait for marriage preparations there is room for regrets and trust me you don’t want to marry someone because you think it will work over time. That’s a prison cell. If you want to be celibate until you get married, communicate to avoid awkward situations when yalls are about to get down and dirty and boom the celibacy talk comes in. Haibo! Values also include talking about religion because it can be hectic so you need to know where your person is.

Ladies! You need to be reliable. Don’t let your man ask outside something he should ask you. You need to show this man you are open to learning new things and do it together. The best thing about about being a power couple is doing things together, tapping into each others careers.

Be the girl who gets things done, the girl who puts in the effort.

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