Being a boyfriend is supposed to be fun, goofy and all games. But this is Zimbabwe, fun and games are for infants and pets. The plight of the boyfriend is the message in this half thought out post with a lot of things that might save people and get me some silent treatment. Without wasting much of your time ( if you are in Zimbabwe, it is best to read this in a queue , it will help you ease the wait) let’s get right to it.
First of all, the country is broke. For some odd reason, money has become the measure of love. “Why is your friend dating a broke man, she deserves better” says a mother to her 20 year old daughter. That just about sums up this struggle, taking your empress’ breath away is limited to words and a few actions. when it comes to other activities that require funds, the boyfriend title becomes intense to bear which brings in the second struggle:
The competition was fair when people competed in the age ranks, it was a battle of wit and character then the advent of blessers came with new struggles. Blessers came with Brazilian hair, cars and expensive get aways, and let’s face it money is the root of all happiness. Boyfriends are in constant treat of losing their empresses to their uncle’s and dad’s bullies. ” I don’t date people who don’t have cars”, says someone’s sidechick. That’s the take away.
III. Social Media
It is only fair to express this in the context of insecurity. This affects married and dating people, it is easier to deflect attention to a stranger and defend it as not cheating. DMs have broken relationships, Instagram stories have sparked controversies , Snaps have attracted unwanted threats. And the boyfriend is not a victim only, the urge to engage in these pop culture relationship wrecking games keeps the struggle real.
True story : A DM got him dumped.
IV. Role confusion
Like I said this is the Zimbabwean struggle. I know boyfriends who are acting father, husband , uncle and ATM. Recently I heard some girls arguing with a guy saying they can never buy anything for a guy, and their last remark was ” Men should spend, it is a must and women should never use a cent”. It got me thinking, what are the parameters and roles of a boyfriend really ? Do not misquote my words, there are certain things that are family roles and the boyfriend can just assist not take full charge.
The basic task of achieving things together overtaken by petty things and selfies. What gain is it to flex on the gram and not have future goals together. This is a struggle of security, a boyfriend is a fashion accessory in Zimbabwe , an extension of an outfit. Men are more concerned about the long term benefits of a relationship, the evolutionary Darwin in us. Women are often concerned about the appearance of things. In essence , this is an issue of priorities.
No the guy besties. Those hold their own controversial position in a lady’s relationship. Perhaps the greatest struggle in a Zimbabwean boyfriend’s life is the toxicity of the empress’ female best friends. It is sad that they can make or break a relationship and still remain unaffected by the emotional backlash. I’ve personally witnessed the lengths to which female best friends can go to ruin each other’s lives in the name of best friend goals. Most Zimbabwean boyfriends suffer from dating the whole squad because the empress ceases to make her own decisions.
VII. Prophets & Pastors
Yes you got that right. Africa on it’s own is a religious sink hole with women being in the forefront of believing half the nonsense we shun as men. Spirituality is beautiful, do not get me wrong. There are a lot of relationships that have been ruined by what pastors have to say about them. Again do not get me wrong, religion is an integral part of our being but in Africa it is abused to the point where most empresses cannot make their own decisions. Pastors and prophets have become their fathers and reasoning devices which means a typical boyfriend not only dates his empress but takes in the best friends and the pastor and whatever he does is prone to scrutiny. The sad thing is, a relationship is a union of minds and personality but picture a situation where both these elements are controlled by other people. ( by the way check the statistics, empresses are the most spiritual gender and their judgements are easily swayed by someone believed to have a higher calling, that is why they can call their pastors “Papa” and disrespect their own relationships”.
Sex is on it’s own level. To be fair, I will let you find how it is a struggle by hinting a few points. 1. Faking a pregnancy 2. Treating it like a transaction 3. Being the only thing to offer. How you elaborate is up to the level of imagination gifted to you.
If there is a struggle we missed , the comment section is open.