Long distance relationships are the stuff of legends. They are fascinating . They don’t have the long awkwardly electric stares, the sweet nothings we whisper and the shy smiles. The cuddles. All these little elements that foster a profound connection which are very physical. So how can we make long distance relationships work past a few months?
Long distance relationship are a different ball game. The closest link between our beating hearts is technology and trust. Long distance relationships leverage more on tech and creativity. These still work regardless of all the forces against long distance couples. The downside is, people are different, so that means it all depends on their personality, keenness to make things work, their communication styles and other things.
( I must say long distance relationships are probably not for everyone, some people can’t even try. But I guess with age it could change)
The How
Communicate Effectively
Effective communication is the cornerstone of long distance relationships. How you communicate with your partner is as essential as the frequency of the communication. With modern tech and social media, the means to communicate is easily available . This does not mean suffocating each other with texts and calls, give each other room. Inasmuch as you are in a relationship, you still have normal lives. Do not forget, on the side of that device is a person who exists independently. ( But what about data ? Uhm, that’s a you problem Susan )
Be creative
Communication is king or queen or whatever, that is beyond reasonable doubt. The how aspect is what makes the difference. “Good morning” and “goodnight” messages are mandatory!
Long distance relationship doesn’t mean boring. Spice up your messages and call. Send videos, audios , memes, gif and whatever media appeals to you both. This kind of effort shows you’re doing your best to stay connected. Also play games together, the naughtier the better, that keeps the intimacy going.
Avoid unnecessary situations
Being miles apart is already a test of hearts, do not add more baggage. If you’re hanging out with people , that’s fine, but let your partner know. Just because they’re far away doesn’t mean, they won’t be offended by some suspicious or questionable characters.
Yes, your phone is YOURS but what you do with it shouldn’t affect your relationship. Long distance does not mean flirting with everyone in your contact list because your partner won’t find out. Respect them enough to resist such disloyal traits. What would you do if they did that to you ? Keep that in mind.
Do similar things
Doing similar things makes it feel like you’re closer. Share books, songs , tv shows and series. These shared things will give you stories and put you in the same track. You can actually watch the same show on Netflix and chat while watching. But if Netflix isn’t an option, traditional TV works just fine.
Stay true and Honest
Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, and whatever shakes you up the wrong way. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later drown you, both . Don’t try to be a superhero, share those feelings and thoughts. It will keep your relationship healthy, don’t anticipate putting fires when you let the spark grow.
Know each other’s schedules
This is important. Know when they’re busy or tied up. You don’t want to disturb your partner when they’re in a meeting or in class. ( If you’re reading this on lockdown, remember they have chores)
Keep track of each other’s social media activities
Like it or not, if your in a long distance relationship, social media is like going out together. Like each other’s photos , comment and tag each other. You know there is always that weirdly inappropriate comment that will come from other social media friends, beat them to it.
Stay positive
You need to constantly feed positive energy into the long distance relationship to keep it alive. The waiting can be painful and you can sometimes feel lonely but you need to remind yourself why you’re in it. Distance does not mean death, keep the flames alive.
Stay posted
Update each other on any and everything. Gossip. If you’re not gossiping as a couple, start now. We’re social beings, scandals and tea keeps you up to date.
Plan together
Make certain decisions together, for future events or for when you meet, even for the day to day things. Shared responsibility goes a long way.
Be Slow to judge
When we’re apart, a lot of scenarios play in our heads and they often make sense. Assumptions ruin trust. Trust on it’s own is another factor, trust each other to do the right thing. Don’t forget, trust is earned so don’t expect it to be handed to you through an emoji. When we’re apart from one another or have limited exposure to a person or event, we start to make all sorts of assumptions or judgments that are often either exaggerated or else completely wrong. Let Susan comment on your partner’s posts without being jealous, Jerry’s like is just that. Be slow to judge. Don’t be super possessive, that could ruin things.
The Distance should take a break at some point
Make plans and efforts to meet at some point. Contact is necessary. Psychological and well, common sense or whatever.
